tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post5128317880346413081..comments2024-03-19T00:16:02.419-07:00Comments on A Little More Than Ordinary...: Shadow of Highrise - HaikuRamesh Soodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05589155663544312563noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-54358161880499101492013-08-10T06:37:44.072-07:002013-08-10T06:37:44.072-07:00so well said Ramesh..so well said Ramesh..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-45186390289571288732013-08-09T00:13:35.189-07:002013-08-09T00:13:35.189-07:00nests of concrete rise
shadow of high-rise
well s...nests of concrete rise<br />shadow of high-rise<br /><br />well said..brilliant haiku :)eyeographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05508519847517495863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-9937755658546658752013-08-08T10:23:38.241-07:002013-08-08T10:23:38.241-07:00That first one is brilliant...written so well. Poo...That first one is brilliant...written so well. Poor displaced birds.Maggie Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044824920398442496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-91546794164827223812013-08-08T09:32:53.002-07:002013-08-08T09:32:53.002-07:00Flatfrog,
Great writing tips.Flatfrog, <br /><br />Great writing tips.Lollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16526692343815904632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-17465280469205426832013-08-08T01:41:29.647-07:002013-08-08T01:41:29.647-07:00I just loved the second and third one, Ramesh. And...I just loved the second and third one, Ramesh. And learnt a few basic things from flatfrog's comment. Appreciate his effort..Panchalihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08832164041967778122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-87825459919991203662013-08-07T23:21:22.762-07:002013-08-07T23:21:22.762-07:00Beautiful...spreading concrete jungle..very well e...Beautiful...spreading concrete jungle..very well expressed Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-72669572713657983062013-08-07T21:27:29.242-07:002013-08-07T21:27:29.242-07:00I really like the second one too...it has a visual...I really like the second one too...it has a visual appeal.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08356682434301279963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-32710443937158976222013-08-07T20:47:04.241-07:002013-08-07T20:47:04.241-07:00I realize that I live in paradise compared to many...I realize that I live in paradise compared to many of the people in the world. No high rises, no crowding, A mocking bird lives in a tree outside my bedroom window.<br /><br />The concrete nests for birds are a reality. It is sad that the fact is so true. You wrote powerful haiku...<br />for me to keep in mind. The water and the fish are in peril here...over fishing for one. Contamination for another. <br /><br />Appreciate the message that I will remember.<br /><br />Peace<br />Siggi<br />Siggi in Downeast Mainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12977578917775406831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-23969849253542707712013-08-07T15:43:27.370-07:002013-08-07T15:43:27.370-07:00Man's nest of concrete...powerfully said. Wond...Man's nest of concrete...powerfully said. Wonderful haikuSusie Clevengerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09239990133754328967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-69449294436153731502013-08-07T10:16:29.823-07:002013-08-07T10:16:29.823-07:00sombre reflections, beautifully expressedsombre reflections, beautifully expressedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-28467537430927619962013-08-07T09:47:23.431-07:002013-08-07T09:47:23.431-07:00Urban jungle of concrete blocks is indeed scaring ...Urban jungle of concrete blocks is indeed scaring away nature. Very well composed Sir, esp the last one, the imagery it creates is stunning and stark :)Reshmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01640435257765195374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-60376712735274100612013-08-07T06:48:15.857-07:002013-08-07T06:48:15.857-07:00Hey, this information would help all...Your effort...Hey, this information would help all...Your effort to write it all here is much appreciated..Thanks!!!<br /><br />RS:)Ramesh Soodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05589155663544312563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-35375469594704561662013-08-07T05:18:01.576-07:002013-08-07T05:18:01.576-07:00oh how depressing
concrete highrise darkens our
mo...oh how depressing<br />concrete highrise darkens our<br />modern horror age<br /><br />True Ramesh!rallentandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06980559347805844568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-37603416738320318362013-08-07T05:12:05.331-07:002013-08-07T05:12:05.331-07:00Hey! That reworking is really good and carries a l...Hey! That reworking is really good and carries a lot of the traditional qualities expected of a haiku. Having the fallen tree in the initial fragment by itself before developing why it had fallen in the phrase section helps expand the haiku in my mind from an image to an action of not only man's world but how nature copes with man.<br />Sorry if I seemed prescriptive earlier. I've just been reading in some books and journals about what makes and doesn't make haiku. I think if we are going to call our poems haiku then we have some responsibility to keep to how haiku writers themselves define their work.<br />Basic rules so far seem to be:<br />1) stick to 2-3 juxstaposing images<br />2) use a fragment and phrase rather than one long sentence<br />3) let the image speak rather than be didactic<br />4) do not break up ordinary language syntax - the haiku needs to flow from the tongue like natural speech<br />5) rely on natural speech rhythm patterns to give a poetic edge to the haiku rather than use effects like rhyme or pun.<br />There are stacks more but that's a good place to start. I'm thinking it would be great to have a wordpress haiku site where the formal rules of haiku writing are made explicit and only the entries that meet the strict criteria remain on the site as a learning tool<br />I'm new to haiku writing myself so having such a site which demanded more of the writer would be a really good learning tool. <br />Big Love!<br />XxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-85673425048108106822013-08-07T04:07:40.824-07:002013-08-07T04:07:40.824-07:00I prefer the second. The first one is an interpret...I prefer the second. The first one is an interpretation or a statement, which goes against the imagistic purpose of haiku writing. Keep at it Ram!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-27324601280229872242013-08-07T02:15:21.163-07:002013-08-07T02:15:21.163-07:00nests of birds perish while concrete nests thrive....nests of birds perish while concrete nests thrive. this is reality and very well-expressed.kalpana solsihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05459797629127380780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-15826268308857500722013-08-07T00:05:25.369-07:002013-08-07T00:05:25.369-07:00i like the first one too...its too cool, and true ...i like the first one too...its too cool, and true tooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-840511276510189184.post-8522911911098055892013-08-06T22:00:00.138-07:002013-08-06T22:00:00.138-07:00I really love that first one!I really love that first one!Maude Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03669688074743095866noreply@blogger.com