Don't Let the Child Pass Away...

Sharing from my book which is yet to take shape.. putting here after getting inspired from my blogger friend, thinker and poet Harshad...

As the childhood passes
Don’t let the child pass away
Else, how will you grow-up?

AH, GOOD TO BE A ZERO!

The story starts from the moment I was born. Within moments of my birth God whispered in my ears and told me, “Hey, now that you have come to live a full life on earth, let me tell you one thing - I have fixed your value as ZERO and there are my reasons for that which you will know when the time comes.” My infantile ears heard and let the words seep inside my mind and then some discerning cells received them and the process perhaps took them in deepest corner and hid them there. Today I know that this happened on command from God perhaps with the intention that when time comes and I make effort and show courage to delve in to those corners, the hidden words would glow, become visible and help me get answer to perhaps the most haunting question of my life that I might have to face.

But obviously by the time I started taking first steps and began to coo and scream, I had absolutely forgotten what God had said to me at the time of my birth. Let us now see how it all got evolved as I continued to move forward in life. People spend their lives struggling, doing things they want to do along with those they don’t want to do with one major objective i.e. of finding their own value. What’s my value, or how I am valued by those around? – Questions everyone wants answers to.

Having lived for about 50 years, when I looked back at what I had done or I had been trying to do, I found that I was not able to get the fruits which the results of my actions deserved. Be it my family where my own cousins deprived me of my legitimate share in property for endless years, or my colleagues who with my inputs would be able to perform better and get recognised, or those ahead of me who would use my talent along with their own abilities to reach higher echelons or when the one who wasn’t even present will be appreciated for the overall conduct of a New Year Party in spite of the fact that every aspect would be looked after by me, or a childhood friend for whom one spent uncountable days listening and then who would say that having grown-up with distance of years in between one can’t claim to be friends any more, or someone quietly cutting my wings and tying my feet exactly at a time when I would be readying myself to take a plunge for a flight to the higher skies, or someone mercilessly stealing some beautiful promising moments that would beckon me to fill my palms with them just before I would be able to pick them out of the flowing stream of time or getting insulted by some people who somehow didn’t know about the direct role I had played in giving them better lives – and so on i.e. situations where I would be connected with someone else never favoured me with gifts of recognition or prosperity . And that’s been the pattern of my life which continues even today.

But then what is indeed interesting is that my own talents when exhibited in my own independent cut out roles brought a lot of glory and recognition and fame and rewards and yes, some amount of prosperity too. Some occasions which saw me getting rewarded and recognized for my performance in my individual roles have been independant assignments at work, winning numerous competitions in individual sports or in writing poetry , or publication of a book, or compeering a number of programmes, etc. also brought gifts of happiness and joy which kept me going. Yet whatever situations demanded others to value or appraise me, I found that results were not what I would be expecting. Not that I expected beyond what I deserved, yet lingering feeling stayed that I never got my due.

Obviously, looking back at my life I was able to see a clear pattern. The situations where my direct contribution in any area of activity would be visible helped me move forward but where it hadn’t been visible in spite of a strong presence, it won’t get or receive its due. And the pattern that emerged proved one thing very clearly that I lacked practical intelligence due to which perhaps I wasn’t able to get my due whenever someone else had to decide on any rewards using various parameters. And I realized or perceived, as many would like to think or say, I was never valued in line with or at par with my talents and capabilities. What could be my value? I would often sit wondering aloud. None could answer for me as I continued to explore ways to break the pattern.

One day when I was in deep contemplation almost in meditative stance I suddenly saw a big ZERO glowing in front of me as if set ablaze by the forces around. In that instant I was transported back to reality. I opened my eyes and sat stunned for a few moments. ZERO – what should it be denoting? Could it be my value? Am I a big ZERO? And then suddenly the clouds melted and I could clearly see exactly what it meant. I kept thinking intensely. Yes, in the ways of world I had been a big ZERO. With whom so ever I was attached and he decided to keep me on the right side, his value had got enhanced. In some cases doubled or tripled too. The one under whose control I had been trying to grow became infinitely powerful duly aided by his own very high degree of practical intelligence. It’s true. I could distinctly see many situations where one had chosen to keep me on the right thus gaining on the way. But nothing had changed for me. My ‘value’ had remained fixed.

I continued to dwell in my thoughts. One more thing which I had personally ensured – some had innocently chosen to come to my right side, I mean put me on their left , but then I had not attempted to put a ‘full stop” between them and me lest their value reduces. Therefore, I could never learn keeping anyone under me. One had to be on my side , whichever didn’t matter. I had quietly accepted everything. Yes, from a purely limited perspective, perhaps I had reached the real meaning of being a Zero. It had been evident from whatever emerged out of whatever short analysis I had done. But then the thinker in me shouted, “ No, it can’t be that simple. Think, think and think some more..” I didn’t have an alternative. My thoughts became deeper and deeper and that’s when I lost all sense of time and without knowing started a journey of my own inner space to the deepest and darkest corners of my mind and that’s when it happened – the word ZERO sprang in front of me glowing in all its glory and the words began echoing , “now that you have come to live a full life on earth, let me tell you one thing - I have fixed your value as ZERO and there are my reasons for that which you will know when the time comes.” Hidden deep somewhere in my conscientious, the words had surfaced and I could hear them as clear as a spotless sky. I had a vague feeling of having heard them earlier too. These words had to be the message from God.

Somehow I had always believed in God talking to me on occasions and I distinctly remember the moments in my life when I had followed God’s word with full conviction. In fact I had restarted a new life based on one such message only. And the entire pattern became absolutely clear. Yes, Zero meant ‘nothingness’ but then for me God might be having some different meaning, something deeper and more important. It cannot be only in materialistic sense I had been thinking. I decided to explore. It is said that Zero, denotes ‘nothingness’ but then Zero also equals Infinity . Zero is also looked at as as the 'Whole' of all numbers. So what did God mean by saying ‘I have fixed your value as Zero’? Did it mean that I had to live a life of fullness? Did I have to be a ‘Whole’ person? Did it mean that I need not restrict myself in any boundaries… Boundaries of expectations, needs and greed …etc.? Did i mean I had to just keep on living accepting whatever came my way; helping whenever the need arose or somebody wanted help? Did it also mean that I had to feel complete, a state which would always lead to contentment & Happiness?

Yes, it meant all this and much more and exactly what God wanted me to pick up from his message. Let the world consider me Zero and define me in its own materialistic way, but then I now knew what exactly Zero meant. Obviously, whenever I will get attached with one, one’s value is going to get enhanced and that’s what should be something quite normal. Living a boundary-less life, I need not get confined within the petty feelings of expectations of getting materialistically enhanced. Having been able to finally reach the hidden treasure, receiving the message and decoding its true meaning, I think I am already feeling enhanced. Isn’t it then good to be a ZERO?

Thoughts as they came..

God gives
And man lives
And the man who gives
Through him God lives..

xxxx

Where does a rainbow come from
And where does it go
I am simply in love with it
So not really bothered to know...

XXXX

To find one's path, one must lose one's way.

I had lost my way
When, Aha!
I found my path

" YOU ARE TRUSTED "

When I trust you and share all my thoughts,
I don’t expect a betrayal even in my dream,
And if you do, nothing much would happen
Only, you would then be a lesser human being

Whenever I find someone putting all his trust in me; taking me around the darker corners of his inner-space, I have always felt that at that moment he is giving me one of the greatest compliments and that is : “ You are trusted.” But how difficult it is to hold on to someone’s secret. Sometimes it becomes too heavy but then that is the test.

If you succumb to your own pressure and share the same with someone then one thing is sure: Pleasure of being a trust worthy person will be lost. And temptation will be greater when betraying someone would mean some material gain for you. Either get material gain and let a part of your spirit die or shun the material gain and let the spirit glow. Later appears to be a difficult choice? But then I ask - Should there be another choice?
Getting trusted indeed is the most glowing tribute anyone can ever get.
Try and see your spirit and in turn life glowing. Trust Me.

The Flames Leapt

The flames leapt,
A few wept
By the time flames died
Every one had left......

This thought at one of the funerals I attended made me so alive to reality..

The Last Impression: A True Story of Changing Perceptions

The train screeched to a halt as herds of people alighted and converged from all sides on the only water tap to fill empty water bottles, cans, glasses or whatever good enough to hold some water. It was scorching hot and one had to bear with it while traveling during summer vacations.
Because of the scheduled brief halt , the competition to fetch water became intense as the moments ticked by . And then the things turned sour. A middle aged tough looking man slapped a young boy. It was disgusting to see such blatant display of aggression. Some polite people intervened and the fight ended. But it left a bitter feeling in my mind about that middle aged man.
As the train whistled, he entered our compartment and while moving towards us he stumbled over a piece of baggage lying in the middle. A few people helped him to get up and the man sitting next to me whispered almost in my ears, “He is blind.” The bitter feeling vanished instantly.
After sometime he came over to us and expressed his desire to meet my children whose clamor had attracted him. After polite introductions, when my little daughter, about two years at that time, held his left hand, he took out a colourful balloon with the right from his pocket. He blew it and gifted it to my daughter. My son persisted for one for him and was able to get it. The man was generous and large hearted. I thanked him for the gifts to my little-ones. My heart was filled with compassion for him. But a question had remained unanswered. So I asked ,”Tell me Baba, why did you slap the young boy?” I could clearly notice the pain in his voice as he replied, “Yes, in fact, I didn’t want to do it. But the boy had touched my self-respect by saying – Andha hai kya – and I lost control.” I just looked at him and couldn’t speak anything further.
After a while looking at the blank space he moved ahead and called out, “Any little angels here?” He still had some balloons left in his pocket. And I felt sad over my first impression about him. This is what perception does. We tend to judge things as we see them based on our preconceived notions. But my perception about him had changed with in no time from bitterness to compassion to respect.. Thank God! First impression was not the last impression. I had learnt a lesson.

We Walk Far.....

Recently read the book I AM ANOTHER YOU by MS. PRIYA KUMAR, the noted trainer who also got featured in Rahul Dulhaniya.. on NDTV Imagine and then wrote to her giving feedback on the book which is very well written and deserves to be read by all the discerning minds..

Purpose of writing here is to share some wonderful lines she wrote to me in her response, I think these need to reach maximum people..

WE WALK FAR
AND EACH HILL WE CLIMB
SHOWS HOW FAR
THERE IS STILL TO GO

WE LEARN MUCH
AND THE LEARNING ITSELF
SHOWS HOWMUCH MORE
THERE IS TO KNOW..

Beautiful and inspiring lines these!

FEELINGS.....

LET VIBRATIONS COMMUNICATE
INTENSE FEELINGS

BEFORE WORDS KILL...

Happiness?

As a Child When I was asked
“ Are you Happy?”
I had thought…
…Papa brought sweets for me
Mother forgave my misadventures,
Sisters did my home work, dressed me up
Combed my hair,
and sent me out to play
And I had answered, “ Yes, I am Happy’.

As an adolescent when I was asked
“ Are you Happy?”
I was excited…
..Lots of freedom to wander around,
Someone special who felt concerned
Lots of dreams in my gleaming eyes,
A few handshakes with success
Everything looked fine ,
So I had said , “Yes I am Happy”.

As an adult When I was asked
“ Are you Happy?”
I had wondered…
..All those fake friends around
Invisible stabbings at my back
Most people indifferent
Perpetually weakening social fiber,
Unreal faces , false smiles,
I got confused and didn’t answer

After many years in to adulthood
Today when I am asked
“ Are you Happy?”
I don’t have to think
For, now I know Happiness lies inside me
It’s accepting contradictions with humility
It’s my positive reactions to things around,
It's a way to live,
It’s purely my own state of mind

I answer, “Yes, I am truly Happy.”

And I know I am. And it’s here to stay………

LET US PRACTICE HAPPINESS

I will be 50 in another couple of weeks. With the way the things had been happening I thought it was time to take a stock of things around and look at the possibility of taking corrective actions so as to bring back the kind of life I lived during the years between 1992 till 2005. That was the time when I had taken certain deliberate decisions and made special efforts to create a better and happier life for myself and for those around me. I think at that time I was practicing happiness. Come what may, each day would begin with morning meditation and a chat with the rising sun. It will end with my eyes looking at the night sky filled with stars wondering if ever moon would visit me sometime. I think, I was truly living in a state of bliss.

But then, life suddenly took a turn.. Three road accidents, hypertension, heart problem, typhoid etc. – every year saw me getting acquainted with my body a little more closely.. A difficult time that when the person who would often show the path to others found himself groping in dark! Happiness became like a friend living in distant place who would call up to say 'Hello' on occasions. My books, companions for years, turned in to sources of information instead of inspiration. Picture of confidence lost its shine and it was dust of fear & doubt that covered it. Yet I wasn’t able to accept the reality. For me the world was wrong and there were conspiracies all around. People were trying to destroy me. I followed the age old adage –talent must pay the price - and since I considered myself talented I too was being made to pay the price or so I thought. I didn’t realize at that time that everyone was busy fighting their own battles and hardly had any time to indulge or get involved in my life.

And then as always happens – a sudden revelation! I wasn’t enjoying life. I was deteriorating. I had to go back to my own ‘State of Bliss’ where I had stayed for many years before migrating to this current ‘State of Negativity’. I took a short break so that I would be able to introspect and have a journey in to my own inner space which I had seen from outside during my Angiography. I restarted reading books with greater intensity which once again turned in to sources of inspiration and not only information. I Am Another You, Change Every Thing When Every Thing Changes, Outliers, The Professional, Go Kiss the World, The Dolphin , Peaks and Valleys, One Minute Apology, Blink, What the Dog Saw , The Secret, Beyond the Secret, Eat-Pray and Love, I Have Lived for Thousand Years, The Power of Intention etc. etc. – I read and read and read. And suddenly the things started becoming clearer. I began to jot down each and every learning with a fresh perspective.

Basically, I was not able to handle people well as perhaps I was not able to understand the dynamics involved in working relationships which had this tendency to change with any change in the surroundings. I was often having difficulties in interpersonal relationship having fallen in the trap of ‘I AM OK YOU ARE NOT OK’ mode of behavior. And therefore my focus for learning had been to accept people as they were without expecting anything in return. This change alone would bring back those beautiful days.

And as I continued with my efforts, I learnt that in any given moment each person is compelled to act and behave as per his or her own level of understanding developed over the years of living based on his or her circumstances. So nobody in that sense can be wrong. A person could give me only that what he had. I learnt that I must refrain from passing judgments or evaluating people / events. Perhaps, the only major source of unhappiness, that ! I learnt that what I needed to do was to look at myself and adjust my own behavior to ensure that I did not fly off the handle often and to try and keep myself under control.

Easier said than done! Reacting to people and events had become second nature. Exactly opposite to what I had seen of myself in those twelve happy years when I was experiencing all that is written in “The Secret” , a book that has the magical powers to change destinies. But then I had to achieve what I had set out for. I needed to have some Mantra that would keep me on track that would make me attain happiness on a continuum.

As they say if you want something with great intensity, you attract it in your life. I was sitting and wondering when suddenly like a flash a few thoughts got interlinked and manifested themselves in such a way that I got my path, my Mantra. I don’t know why and how I recalled having read a book very many years ago in which the hero of the book a business tycoon keeps visiting countries cruising in his yacht . At one particular place as his yacht moves away from the shore he looks at the City as it starts fading away in the horizon and says, “ Yet another place that could not hold me”. I started thinking. If not places, I visit moments through which people, events, happenings, things, places etc. get manifested and based on what is experienced I feel happy, sad, bad or mad, whatever. So can I hereafter start practicing happiness and create many more moments when I should be able to say, ‘In spite of carrying negativity on its shoulders, the moment gone by failed to upset me in any manner. Wow! Thank you, God!’ And it appeared to be a good way of giving oneself strokes for positive behavior even if one finds oneself in an uncomfortable situation. I have started practicing this Mantra with some heartening results. Situations would arise when otherwise I would have reacted extremely aggressively straining my vocal cords, but nothing of that sort happens because I make deliberate effort to practice happiness. Hence I have learnt to stop myself at red light with patience, take a pause at yellow and move on when green with a smile. It feels very good whenever I find myself repeating the sentence, ‘In spite of carrying negativity on its shoulders, the moment gone by failed to upset me in any manner. Wow! Thank you, God!’ Oh, what a bliss! Any repetition of this sentence gives me joy and pleasure.

Well, join me and we shall together practice happiness.

Learning From My Own Teaching...

It's almost a month haven't put anything on my blog. Somehow wasn't really aligned with the present as what needed to be done for having a future that would help satisfy my creative curiosity was all that my mind was focused on. A sudden surge in Sugar levels in my body had also become a cause of concern and after fluctuating like sensex for few days, finally it is coming back to acceptable levels but then I would have to be cautious with my diet. Well, doesn't matter, it will be alright. Coming to the reason for blogging today is to share with you something that made me rethink about my own approach. My own teaching came back to make me learn something I trully needed under my present circumstances.

It was last Friday when I got a message in my office that a visitor had enquired about me in our Guest House. Some executives from one of the renowned companies were on a visit to our plant where I am placed and one among the team had asked if I were still with the organisation and if it would be convenient to meet with him during the day. Well, wondering about the gentleman as I couldn't recollect having met him, I proposed to have a lunch meeting in our Guest House which for some reasons couldn't happen. And about 1400 hrs I found a young tall man smartly attired seeking my permission to enter my room. Realising that it must be the same gentleman, I received him and reading a big question mark on my face he said, " Sir, I know you are not able to recognise me, but let me tell you .. I was among the six candidates you had picked up from Sangli in Campus Interviews and then we had visited your plant for final interviews which I wasn't able to clear......", " Oh, I am not really able to place you exactly....," I interrupted. " Sir, let me finish and then my purpose of meeting you would be clear..Sir, that evening you interacted with us and as young freshers you told us a few things which have remained with me forever and helped me shape my career. Let me remind you what you told us.. If you are not able to change some circumstances, change yourself... there is somthing in you that is not helping you bring the change .. so efforts wil be futile.. look at yourself and change whatever needs to be changed in you to meet with success. Trust me, this is one thing that I have always kept with me and implemented in my career. I have never let it go... I spent four years in Detroit after doing my M. Tech and I am today well placed ..", he named his company which is indeed one of the most repected in the country. I was looking at him.. surprised... for RK was talking about something that had happened Sixteen years ago . Oh, my God, he had kept me alive in a corner of his heart for so many years and was sitting in front of me. He continued "Sir, actually you told us about Six Thinking Hats also...". And I recalled about what Edward De Bono had taught the world many years ago..

And we continued to chat for some more time. I thanked him for his kindness and confessed that it was so nice of him to have come as a messenger of God to let me relearn from my own teachings of the past which I had myself forgotten. And RK was spontaneous with concern in his voice , " No sir, you can't let that happen.. we have moved in career because you taught us.. and how can you lose your confidence... no sir, don't let that happen to you." RK had given me something that I needed. Circle had got completed. He had unknowingly come to meet me at a time when perhaps I needed him most. His words have left me emboldened ..I had lost my way, when I suddenly found my path. World is a beautiful place to live because we have people like RK who in spite of having touched the skies, continue to keep thier feet on Earth. I salute your humility , RK, Thanks a lot!