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Friday, November 25, 2011
Oh, Moon Faints..
My Post # 408
Writen for Haiku Heights
Prompt: Light
(Thanks to Vivienne Blake who blogs over at Vivinfrance's Blog. )
"intolerable" is one of those evaluating adjectives, and a projection as well: If I can't tolerate it, perhaps others can.
I'm not sure what dots of light you mean. My best guess would be the stars, and I can certainly see the stars as punctuation; but to see them as punctuated is another matter. Darkness certainly surrounds the stars (as Pascal has memorably pointed out), but surrounding and punctuating are two quite different things.
shutting my eyes against the light of stars – my dark thoughts
whatever its weaknesses, feels more like haiku (assuming haiku is what you want to write).
Bill, here I was using dots of light as a metaphor for 'good thoughts or elightened thoughts'.. But then you have put it very nicely.. because the reader will go by what he interprets.. therefore I shall have to be careful while putting words.. I think the lesson is what you wrote about advice of Mark Twain.. I will becareful..hereafter.. Thanks for great lessons in haiku..
The first is intriguing and has great depth to it.
ReplyDeleteThe first of these says so very, very much. x
ReplyDeleteI hope the dots of light will prevail...and moon fainting...that's a nice image ~
ReplyDeleteThe moon fainting ... soon she will return in full light.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a good idea to erase those thoughts and the pressures of work for the moon :) with a degree of sentimentality!! Good ones both!!
ReplyDeleteso well crafted.
ReplyDeletefewer words,
longer stories.
strong visuals.
bravo ramesh!
seems the moon's power is faded.. :) great one!
ReplyDeletelots to think about with that first haiku :)
ReplyDeletei like how the dots of light are punctuation
ReplyDeleteQuite a set of images with each -- very different from each other. Intriguing!!
ReplyDeleteLove them both!
ReplyDeleteWonderful haiku...both of them.
ReplyDeleteEspecially like the phrases
"punctuated with dark thoughts"
and
"Oh, Moon faints.."
Thank you...
Peace,
Siggi in Downeast Maine
Banish those dark thoughts Ramesh, the light is to be enjoyed and savoured :)
ReplyDeleteboth are compact and smart.
ReplyDeletenice imaginary :)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant: reminds me of the pointilliste painters.
ReplyDelete"intolerable" is one of those evaluating adjectives, and a projection as well: If I can't tolerate it, perhaps others can.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what dots of light you mean. My best guess would be the stars, and I can certainly see the stars as punctuation; but to see them as punctuated is another matter. Darkness certainly surrounds the stars (as Pascal has memorably pointed out), but surrounding and punctuating are two quite different things.
shutting my eyes
against the light of stars –
my dark thoughts
whatever its weaknesses, feels more like haiku (assuming haiku is what you want to write).
Bill, here I was using dots of light as a metaphor for 'good thoughts or elightened thoughts'.. But then you have put it very nicely.. because the reader will go by what he interprets.. therefore I shall have to be careful while putting words.. I think the lesson is what you wrote about advice of Mark Twain.. I will becareful..hereafter.. Thanks for great lessons in haiku..
ReplyDeleteLove them both my friend. You have a great talent.
ReplyDeleteMelanie