Saturday, December 18, 2010

Slice Me Deep.....

Written for OSI Prompt... Stillness
And last haiku for Haiku Heights...'self'..



Slice Me Deep.....

Stillness of lake
Makes me think of her depth
I reflect on mine

I reflect on mine
But then where is it
Can’t even feel

Can’t even feel
Hey, cut my inner being
Throw sharp words

Throw sharp words
At unexpected hours
Slice me deep

Slice me deep
Each day by hurling hurts
Let it go deeper

Let it go deeper
Help me endure the pain
Feeling some depth

Feeling some depth
I want to quietly reach to
Meet a calmer me

Meet a calmer me
On the edge, being with
Stillness of lake…

Stillness of lake
Hugs my ‘calmer’ Self
, says
“Welcome, home!”

****

34 comments:

  1. wow...what a combination of haikus and loved the last one the most...combination of haiku and loop poetry...very well done..

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  2. You have won yourself here RS!! Beautifully looped together and gently going deeper to meet the calm :)

    You have captured this one!!

    Have a great time and good wishes for the New Year!!

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  3. A calmer self near the still lake...
    Brilliant haikus Sir... :)

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  4. That was just WOW rameshji. The flow, the meaning, the depth of the poem was as deep as your silent lake. :) Loved reading this one.

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  5. This is a real deep one. Could feel depth and calm.

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  6. I like the chain you created here, interesting technique.

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  7. love the reflection you created with words ... peace, JP/deb

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  8. cut your inner being through sharp words...

    wow, love the line.
    well done.

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  9. Here is the end of the year awards 4 you, enjoy!

    End of The Year Awards 4 Friends of Jingle or Jingle Poetry Community


    Your support has been a delight to us, at this time of the year, We wish you all the best !
    Hope to see you at our Sunday Poetry Potluck tonight, let me know if you have questions. old poems or poems unrelated to our theme are welcome..
    Week 15 theme: reflections, interpretations, and musings.

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  10. It certainly demands a great mind to be able to think these pictures. Impressed !

    Please have a good new week.

    daily athens

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  11. oh, my goodness! you brought me there with your beautifully written words. home!
    felt it deeply!

    thank you

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  12. and no matter how it is being classified, i still think the words are great and beautifully said. brought out the emotions well. great achievement ramesh! mine's here-

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  13. Thank you friends.. all of you..for emboldening me..and Jingle, your presence itself is an award for me..

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  14. I think we all long for a 'calmer' Self... I know there are many times when I need to 'meet a calmer me on the edge of the lake.'

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  15. Wonderful waves of stillness reaching.

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  16. Beautiful poem...
    Stillness of lake hugging the calmer self...wonderful

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  17. Awesome poetry I must say. The best part is how succinctly you can express so many feelings in 4 lines. So beautiful, yet so touching.

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  18. Fascinating poem. The repetition of "slice me deep' is a wonderful expression of the depth of longing. Great poem, very enjoyable read, even considering the dark theme. Take care and hope all is well. Thanks for visiting my site, I will have to read through some of your poetry. Take care and hope all is well,

    crb.

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  19. Rameshji, I am glad too that you stopped by and I could come here and read your work. I loved the lines and somehow because really know where you coming from so could empathise

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  20. Such a creative way of expressing the peacefulness of home!

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  21. Deep, provocative words Ramesh...

    http://mypoeticpath.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/the-miracle-of-the-season/

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  22. Oh that was lovely , exactly the way I felt some time back :) And your use of words are so simple yet so effective ! :) Loved it , as every next lines hop to, one continues to nod heir head in agreement !

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  23. Wonderful Compilation Rameshji.. I loved it..

    --Someone is Special--

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  24. Ramesh, the words take you deep down where we eventually must reflect and feel about but invariably don't...

    Nice!

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  25. what a loop poetry and haiku!.
    you are truly impressive

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  26. great combo....super poem and duper haiku!

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  27. I love writing longe haikus as well. This was perfect and the last stanza was so true- nicely done!!!

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  28. Oh what would I not give to meet a calmer me... or at least to meet the old me


    Regards

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  29. OMG - Ramesh -- this is awesome ... very layered with depth!! The journey within and to the depths is incredible to discover the wealth your true self contains. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend ~~ becca

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  30. I second Becca..this is simply OMG!! one can learn the technique n the form but the thought process is sheer ingenuity..u continue to amaze us, haiku after haiku :)

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  31. This journey-in-haiku is a classic. Sheer brilliance!

    (may I suggest that it wouldn't hurt to change 'hurts' into hurt - although it appears to be singular, this can have a plural connotation, though I'm sure there are people out there better qualified to explain it than me!)

    best wishes

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