Friday, November 25, 2011

Oh, Moon Faints..

My Post # 408

 

Writen for Haiku Heights
Prompt: Light
(Thanks to Vivienne Blake who blogs over at Vivinfrance's Blog. )

Also  shared  with  Haiku My Heart..



Dots of light
Punctuated
With dark  thoughts




***



Broad day light
Intolerable
Oh, Moon faints..




RS : )



19 comments:

  1. The first is intriguing and has great depth to it.

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  2. The first of these says so very, very much. x

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  3. I hope the dots of light will prevail...and moon fainting...that's a nice image ~

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  4. The moon fainting ... soon she will return in full light.

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  5. It would be a good idea to erase those thoughts and the pressures of work for the moon :) with a degree of sentimentality!! Good ones both!!

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  6. so well crafted.
    fewer words,
    longer stories.

    strong visuals.
    bravo ramesh!

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  7. seems the moon's power is faded.. :) great one!

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  8. lots to think about with that first haiku :)

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  9. i like how the dots of light are punctuation

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  10. Quite a set of images with each -- very different from each other. Intriguing!!

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  11. Wonderful haiku...both of them.

    Especially like the phrases
    "punctuated with dark thoughts"
    and
    "Oh, Moon faints.."

    Thank you...
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

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  12. Banish those dark thoughts Ramesh, the light is to be enjoyed and savoured :)

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  13. Brilliant: reminds me of the pointilliste painters.

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  14. "intolerable" is one of those evaluating adjectives, and a projection as well: If I can't tolerate it, perhaps others can.

    I'm not sure what dots of light you mean. My best guess would be the stars, and I can certainly see the stars as punctuation; but to see them as punctuated is another matter. Darkness certainly surrounds the stars (as Pascal has memorably pointed out), but surrounding and punctuating are two quite different things.

    shutting my eyes
    against the light of stars –
    my dark thoughts

    whatever its weaknesses, feels more like haiku (assuming haiku is what you want to write).

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  15. Bill, here I was using dots of light as a metaphor for 'good thoughts or elightened thoughts'.. But then you have put it very nicely.. because the reader will go by what he interprets.. therefore I shall have to be careful while putting words.. I think the lesson is what you wrote about advice of Mark Twain.. I will becareful..hereafter.. Thanks for great lessons in haiku..

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  16. Love them both my friend. You have a great talent.


    Melanie

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